Something big happened a few days earlier, and it's a true story about one of my best friends. It' really big and gave me some thoughts, and that's why I;m dropping TED for the day in exchange of my own thoughts. My friend phoned me last night and spilled the details about he and his girlfriend. I had known these two for a long time, almost three years and they were such lovely couples.
My friend is extremely considerate, taking his girlfriend almost wherever he goes, buying things for her every once a while and dropping the girl back and forth between school and houses. There were so many considerate things he had done for this relationship. As for his girlfriend, she seemed devoted to the relationship too and had been a decent girlfriend (I heard it from my friend's mouth in the last few years) She was reliable on him, a really needy girl and sometimes stubborn.
The thing was, when my friend's girlfriend was at the shower, my friend opened her phone to play some games (he said that phones were no secrets between them, LINE, FACEBOOK, MESSAGES, they show each other every thing and one can use another's phone whenever they want) As my friend switch on the phone, he remembered this guy who sent a message to his girlfriend's phone the other day, from some kind of system called WeChat, but he didn't dig deeper, so he decided to find out for himself.
WeChat wasn't buried deep in his girlfriend's phone, it was just in a simple folder located in the phone background. As he opened the program, several strange male names popped into his eyes and all these chats began to roll. He couldn't believe what he was seeing, for it was all too real. It wasn't just travelling in one direction, he could see all those replies from his girlfriend, things he would never believe to have come out from her mouth: bad things about him, (my friend), filthy and lascivious words... she also sent pictures of herself and his to these Web mates...
He kept wondering : some of the words from the Web Mates were extremely rude and offending, but how could his girlfriend accept these kind of conversations and even retorted back...
There were several and extremely long conversations in WeChat, and he forced himself to quickly read everything before he almost puked. There was even this one conversation that startle him most, for one of the Web Mates asked his girlfriend about whether his girlfriend was a virgin, and she replied no she wasn't, for she dedicated her first to his boyfriend (my friend), but the second to another Web mate....
I couldn't feel more pity for my friend, if this was happening to me, I would rather my girlfriend's first time wasn't for me, it could be her ex-boyfriend, or some other guys, the thing is, she wasn't any of my consideration before we agreed to be boyfriend and girlfriend. But to engage in sexual relationship with some other guy when you're dating your boyfriend? That's cheating! I was very shocked to hear that from my friend's mouth, and he didn't know what to do either. That's why he packed a few things and left the house, phoning me afterwards.
In my opinion, this kind of cheating should never be forgiven, not to mention the kind of things the girl chatted with the others online.
1. Flirting with people online, speaking dirty things, bad mouthing your other half
I think this is just a small deal compared to the cheating, but as the girl started to complain about you to the others, how long do you think the relationship can last? Maybe she's just toying with you, and probably already bored by the relationship.
2. Cheating
Cheating is very serious, and almost the top reason, and the fastest way to kill a relationship. It doesn't matter why, when, how or any other questions, for what's done is done and no one can fix that. And it wasn't like she was forced to do it, or drunk and couldn't control herself, or under meds and drugs. She was fully conscious and in total control of her own body and mind, according to my friend.
This led back a darker thought, as my friend shared his story: he said that his girlfriend was always telling him about how much she loves him, that she loves him more that he loves her, and that the only way they will separate is that someone cheated on the back of another. However, who will ever cheat on someone you love? How can you not imagine the kind of damage it will bring when he figured it all out? You may wonder: he may never know, then how can you face your boyfriend, your lover, with your guilt and shame every time you look into his face and when he smiles warmly at you, even though he doesn't find out...
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